The life of cyph0r

because i love shamless pluggings

Thu, 20 Sep 2007 20:32:55 GMT

Join me on luckysearch and I will love you long time :P

http://www.luckysearch.com/cyph0r13

devil days

Sun, 09 Sep 2007 21:11:50 GMT

I know you want to!

Sun, 09 Sep 2007 15:12:31 GMT

shameless plug

Sat, 18 Aug 2007 19:02:53 GMT

please excuse me while I rant

Sun, 10 Apr 2005 13:43:25 GMT

I am getting more and more unhappy with my job situation. What i enjoyed about my job back home even though it was highly stressful at times was that 1. I worked my way up to where I was no longer a newbie, had obtained respect from parents of my students who then because of their respect got respect from newer parents etc. 2. I was running my own class which I enjoyed very much (yes I love the power I had planning my lessons an day even if its following the lesson plans we wrote the term before). 3. I loved the amount of support that was always at my reach (other teachers, Speach therapist, Occupational therapist, Phyisotherpist and Psychologist and even the social workers). 4. I enjoyed the dedication of the other staff.. everyone was there because they enjoyed what they did. Sure there was the occasional bitch about management but we were treated pretty well and the love for the children made that seem less important.

Now my current job.
Daycare:
1. All the staff do is bitch about management and how much they hate their job.
2. The teachers all talk about leaving this line of work one day and that the only reason their in it still is because they can't fnd another job.
3. My assitant teacher status irks me (i'm sorry but this may seem egoistical but I have more experience than any of them)
4. The fact that the teachers don't follow the lesson plans, come in unprepared and just dump toys for the kids to play.

Special Ed. Clients:
1. Lack of support. I am dumped witha kid 1hr per week and no support or communication from other therapist.
2. 1hr a week is not enough to accomplish anything especially when the attention span of a 1-3yr old with special needs is relatively short.
3. I get phone calls every week or so asking where some kind of paper work is no matter how many times I tell. Then I get asked the same question by a couple different people because noone shares their information and everyone is so disorganised.
4. I'm spending more on gas than earning and sometimes parents and caregivers don't call to tell me they won't be around that day and I drive all the way and noone is home and hence don't get paid.

I guess its unfair to state just what I dislike.. here's what I enjoy about both jobs.

Daycare:
1. I love the kids. They have so much potential in them.
2. The school has a great curriculum that if implemented and used would see the children engaged in great activities.
3. I really don't have a problem with managent. I do my job and what they ask of me, I get paid and I don't step on anyone's toes.
4. Many staff are handing in their resignation and I am thinking of asking for a full time position and perhaps my own class.. (still thinking bout this)

Special Ed. Clients:
1. I love working with the kids, special ed has always been my "calling" (if u call it that).
2. The freedom of not being confined in 1 place all day.
3. I run my own show.

I am still waiting for my parapro assesment results (which was supposed to be mailed out on the 5th. and is worrying me that I still don't have it. I also applied for a job in a special needs daycare which has the support of therapist etc in their setting which reminds me of where I used to work at. I am getting a little impatient with how things are moving along but I guess patience is a virtue.

Oh wha a night

Sun, 10 Apr 2005 12:23:23 GMT

Friday night - sp0n, sp0nsis, sp0nsisbf, sp0nsisbf's friend and me (ok the whole sp0n ____ is funny) went down to Georgia Tech to catch Group X. The opening band was a complete bore. Their songs sounded the same, they sucked vocally and lyrically and the songs went on for too long. Group X came on and they were funny. They had some games on stage which was cute. sp0nsisbf got pulled up. The only sucky part was on the second last song they pulled the prank of saying if anyone interrupted their song they would leave and so they did and they left and then the crowd was told they had to go out and when the band came back they would call us in. So we all went out and came back in which I thought was dumb and unncesarry since the place was packed. They played 2 more songs and some college kids decided to mosh on the last song. wtf.. moshing to Group X??

After that we had a very late 12.30am dinner at waffle house.. mmm MVP special.

I also learnt that you can't buy alcohol after 12am in Gwinnett County from the stores. sucky!

Saturday - the whole family went to Maggiano's for lunch-dinner. We had the family special where you order 2 salad, 2 pastas, 2 entrees and 2 desserts and they bring you more if you finish it. We ate our fill and the food was really good. The nice thing.. its only $13++ per person.

so....

Tue, 05 Apr 2005 21:02:56 GMT

i found out today is sp0n's dad bday. So I guess that decides for me that I won't be attending the prayer session. I feel kinda bad. I told them I'd be there but I guess it justifies watching AI. (Please let hole in throat boy be the next to go!)

I just got back from special ed. client. I feel exhausted. The session went pretty well. I got him to say a few words. Nice. Also received word that they're emailing me more clients.

My parapro assesment results is supposed to be in the mail today. I guess they mean in the mail on the 5th doesn't mean in MY mailbox. ah well...

The monster of procrastination

Tue, 05 Apr 2005 18:12:58 GMT

I have a client at 3.30pm. Probably will get there a little earlier so I can finish up earlier and beat the traffic. I am procrastinating about going to the spirit and truth session mainly cos i feel so exhausted. A part of me wants to go, another is saying "No stay home and watch AI and go to bed early." Which will win?

Payday at daycare job today. $100 more than the last one which is odd and nice at the same time. I really should jot down the hours I work because I never keep track.

sp0n and I are going to Chatanooga, TN on the weekend of the 15-17th. Our first wedding annivesary. Technically we're civilly married on Dec 30th 2003 but we had the church wedding and the whole she-bang on April 17th 2004. We're going river rafting on the Ocoee river, visiting Ruby Falls, Lookout Mountain, The Inclined Railroad and the Railway Museum. fun times :D

I love how it's warmed up and that everyone is cutting their grass and when I drive with my windows down through the backroads I can smell freshly cut grass. My car needs a wash. It has pine tree sperm all over it that the bees seem to be attracted to it.

deaths in a week

Fri, 01 Apr 2005 22:19:45 GMT

First off R.I.P Shiavo and Bass wolf.

Remember the concert sp0n and I went to last friday where Guitar wolf performed? The bass player died of a heart attack yesterday. It felt really odd and chilling having watched them play and me being all the way up front even touching him. Such a waste they were pretty darn good on stage.

The Pope is gravely ill and if it is God's will I hope he returns home peacefully. He is indeed a great man and I'm glad I got to see him in person back in 1995 even if it was from afar. Hey I got his picture! Anyway, he's been the pope all my life and its definately going to be a great loss but also a new beginning for the catholic church if/when he dies.

It's been a crazy week.. no april fools here.

rainy morning

Thu, 31 Mar 2005 11:56:12 GMT

Its raining, it's pouring, the old man is snoring.......

Such a nice day to snuggle back into bed. I hate driving in the rain! Wanna snuggle with sp0n. I an hear him snore. but... he'll have to be up in 10 mins. And I have to leave for work in 5.

bah humbug!

self indulgence

Thu, 31 Mar 2005 03:10:11 GMT

After seeing my special ed client I decided to splurge on myself. Dropped by old navy on my way home and ended up buying clothes in anticipation for spring/summer.

My indulgences:
2 capri pants (in khaki and maroonish color)
2 sleeveless top
2 polo shirts (for smart casual work atire)
and the best buy
2 spaghetti strap tops with in built bra
I thought that was the best invention of our time.

I saw a pretty slightly flair skirt but after thinking aout it I figures $30 was too much for a skirt i'd probably not wear all the time. Its also a new arrival so the price will probably drop in abit. I am really happy with my buys. For some reason shopping for clothes is becoming rather therapeutic but i better not make this a habit.

Then sp0n and I went to Ruby Tuesdays for dinner. mmmmmmmmmm :D

i survived

Wed, 30 Mar 2005 18:46:44 GMT

I went for the spirit and truth session and I am glad I did. It was a small group. Mostly college kids but I learnt there was a married couple who usually attended but their child was born on friday. It was a little awkward but I think the most difficult part is over. One of them was telling me how he was in the same situation as me (moved here, left behind fellowship, looked at the same website and found the group) and i told him it was nice to know that i wasn't alone in the way I have been feeling. So there, I think for once i'm doing something good for myself. I'll be going back next week.

Whopee dee doo da

Tue, 29 Mar 2005 21:53:32 GMT

I will be going for the prayer group session tonight. I think its a step in the right direction and hopefully will lead to good things (aka new friendships and a renewal of my faith). I am a little nervous though. I really hate new situations and am shy around new people. The person I emailed seems nice and welcoming which is a good sign. Actually to say a little nervous is wrong.. I am alot nervous.

i spend too much time with kids

Tue, 29 Mar 2005 02:55:47 GMT

Kindergartener
--------------------

"Inner child?" you ask, "Is that like having a baby?" You are your
inner child. And it grants you simple, honest emotions which can,
ironically, make you feel more mature. On the other hand, you are
decidedly isolated in an Adult's world. Being childlike has an
unnecessarily bad reputation, but - remember from childhood - there are
both good and bad children.

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 76% on play
You scored higher than 92% on heart

Link: The Inner Child Test written by donquixotic on Ok Cupid

earthquake

Mon, 28 Mar 2005 22:26:25 GMT

Another quake hits the Indonesia area and tremors could be felt in Singapore. The quake measure 8.5 sent tsunami warnings. Thank goodness there was no tsunami reported. First the day after Christmas. Now the day after Easter.

*raises eyebrows and says WTF?!*

Happy Easter

Mon, 28 Mar 2005 01:33:22 GMT

everyone back home has been calling with easter wishes and plans for the day. Made me a little homesick. For some reason I woke at 6.30am and could not fall back asleep no matter how hard i tried. I ended up going for the 9am mass instead of the 10.30am. Everyone was dressed up and with families while I was with my jeans and tee alone. Truthfully it was a little depressing. It was packed. I didnt stay till the end.

I gave out the easter baskets I made for everyone and the excitement is over. sp0ns mom made us baskets too which was sweet. But now I have so much candy I don't know if i can eat them all. So much for wanting to lose weight.

I miss the liveliness of home during ocassions like this. my mom said they enjoyed my easter package. my cousins called after church and were yelling over the phone. aunt dot called to say thanks for the chocolate eggs. I'm aching for a visit home.

I found a prayer group that meets once a week so i emailed the person in charge to see if they still do (not sure how updated the site is). Hopefully they still do. Some fellowship and new friends would do me good.

Well Happy Easter everyone!

Guitar Wolf and Good Friday

Sun, 27 Mar 2005 02:29:55 GMT

After a super long good friday mass with sp0n attending with me we went downtown to the EARL to catch Guitar Wolf play. They are a japanese band whom I never heard of. Another japanese band, the electric eels opened for them and a LA-brit band The thievers opened for them. So after getting a little high I started getting into the music. Basically we were up front right at the speakers and with the crowd going wild i was constantly over it. My ears are still ringing and I am a little worried (or maybe alot). Sp0n says it should go off in a day or two.

My easter baskets are ready. I am excited about giving them out but i'll have to wait.

Happy Easter!

Thoughts on the Terri Shiavo case

Wed, 23 Mar 2005 19:47:18 GMT

I have been reading with great interest about the Shiavo case. Maybe because where I am from, things like these do not become a major government or congress problem but a decision made behind close doors. No, Euthanasia is not legal in Singapore.

The Shiavo case isn't the first situation to make me give this some thought. Having worked with very severe disabled children who like Shiavo need to be fed through a tube and is in a somewhat vegetative state. Many times I asked myself why these children were even alive. Without medical science they would not have survived. The fact that whatever I did had little or no effect added to that despair of a situation. But the religious Christian side of me also believes a life is a gift and should be respected. Human suffering is unavoidable. I have always asked the question why if we had a God that loved us so much would he continue to allow us to suffer here on earth. The answer I have always gotten was that we were given free will and with it comes concequences of the wrong choices we make. God like a parent has to allow us to make mistakes and suffer the concequences so that we learn. Fair enough. Did those children born in such a state make the choice to end up this way? Do many of the adults who are in a vegetative state choose to end up this way? Fair enough, Shiavo had an eating order and hence caused herself to end up the way she is because she chose to go down that path but I also know how easy it is to lose ones self control once you go down that road. My next question is, how do we define human suffering. With the children I really don't know if they really are suffering. They smile when contented and cry when aggravated and that is basically their life. Are the adults suffering? Or is it the people around them suffering? It is always difficult to watch a love one become helpless. It is a big burden to carry.

Most of the very severe children I work with don't live very long. Some of them have died during my care. Almost all the parents of these children say they are glad they had that child and while sad for their loss they are happy that this child has no need to suffer any longer. Many also speak of the lessons they have been taught by the short lifes of their child. The argument that medical science is the only reason these people are alive is true and valid. But the way I look at it is that everything we have comes from God. God made us so that with our intelligence we may learn and grow. With this intelligence came medical science. Hence the ability to prolong life comes from God.

I am also a strong believer that we are living for a reason. Sometimes the reasons are so inviscible we think our lifes has no purpose or meaning. Because we can't see the bigger picture it is hard to grasp the meaning and purpose of our lifes.

Do I sympathise with Shiavo and her husband? Yes. I cannot say I understand her husband's pain nor can I say I understand what Shiavo is going through now. I also see the view point of her Catholic parents being a part of the faith. Am I for Euthanasia? I would have to say no.

I respect your stance, so respect mine.

days of the week

Mon, 21 Mar 2005 19:43:11 GMT

I finally went to get my eyebrows waxed after daycare job today since I have no clients on Mondays. The waxist convinced me to wax my "moustache". She claimed it was rather long which I agree and it has been bothering me for a good while now but I have been hesitant to start removing it cos that means I have to keep up. I ended up tearing alot. I was so embarrassed. She kept asking if I was alright.

Yesterday saw me going for palm sunday mass. And during this mass, I learnt that palms here are different from the ones we get back home. Also during the exceptionally long mass I learnt about the art of palm weaving. I watched children and adults weave their palms into crosses during the homily in awe. Not wanting to make a fool out of myself I decided not to try it until I got home. A search on google brought me to a tutorial site. I am happy to announce that I weaved my palm into a cross and rose bud. Not the best but hey i'm a beginner.

I am starting an excercise regime today. I am going to go down to the park and try to walk/jog a whole round. I intend to keep this up at least 2-3times a week if the weather permits. Hopefully making it public will make me actually do it. I need to lose 10lbs. I am up to 120lbs (I am very short 5'0) and it just doesn't fit with me.

Happy St patty's day

Thu, 17 Mar 2005 22:17:48 GMT

Can't believe my week is almost over. Nothing very exciting except that I got confirmation that the county school board has received my application But they can only proceed with a supervisor reference. So today I went up to the director and told her the truth. She was nice about it and said that she would give it to the owner to fill up because the owner apparantly is widely known in the school board of this county and would be a great reference for me.

I received a call from a private special needs preschool but they only have a part time position so i declined. I also received a call from the Atlanta Speech School, tried to call back but the lady in charge wasn't around. I just checked their website and they have a position for an assistant teacher in their early intervention class. I am a little torn. One put off though is that this is downtown and is about an hr's drive from where we live and probably further when we move. I am leaning more towards a public school job mainly because of summer holidays and benefits.

so confused.

The other day sp0n and I talked about me continuing my education. Mainly because I have this 35credits which is nothing if I don't complete it to at least get an associates. So i've been looking at part time courses. We might work something out.

I am so ready to move out. We got our tax returns which is going to help us become debt free so we can concentrate on saving. I am knocking on wood that nothing big happens that would require "oh shit" expenses.

The weather amazes me. Sunday I was prancing around outside with bermudas and sandles and all this week its been rainy and gloomy and cold!

my updates of such

Mon, 14 Mar 2005 21:43:41 GMT

For once in 4 weeks I am breathing through my nose without difficulty. I also have a bad headache from using my cellphone all afternoon trying to schedule new clients, reschedule old clients and gettig an appt with planned parenthood for birth control. I am on my last pack that I got from back home. I figure they don't have what I take (Microgynon 30) over here. I decided to wait till I can get on sp0n's insurance to get a gynae exam done. It's long overdue.. I've never gotten one done before. Healthcare is way too expensive here.

Today was picture taking day at daycare. I never knew it was such hardwork getting kids to smile for the camera. I was impressed by the photographer's patience.

I've been munching on starburst jelly beans. Not the best snack healthwise but they sure are tasty.

what is the world coming to

Fri, 11 Mar 2005 21:13:16 GMT

Awhile back in Singapore, a 22yr old woman dumped her premature new born baby out of her apartment via the rubbish chute. The baby died. Noone knew she was pregnant. Here was an undergrad - young, intelligent with life ahead of her with such stupidity. This isnt the first case, there are many such cases in singapore where young girls give in to unprotected sex, become pregnant, hide it from everyone, then dump or kill the baby. I have no sympathy for the ones who kill an innocent life.

My comments on this thread on sg_ljers sums up my opinion. Maybe I am being way too drastic but I believe that if 2 people thought they were mature enough to make love then they should be mature enough to think about the concequences and what they can do to prevent it. Someone replied saying easier said than done. In actual fact i think its easier to use protection than kill a life.

Back here in Georgia, a guy is on the run after shooting and killing 4 people in a courthouse just before his trial for rape.

nothing interesting

Thu, 10 Mar 2005 22:30:59 GMT

I mailed my application to the county school system. crossing fingers. pray for me/wish me luck etc.

I am getting more special ed. clients and I am accepting them since I don't know what the outcome of the school job will be. I may not get to work there till fall or i may not get a job there. I feel a little bad though. I say a little because I have experiences where i make an appointment, confirm etc and drive all the way down and noone is home. It pisses me off because gas is on my own pocket and gas is not cheap.

Hopefully things will work out.

Personally I am exhausted. I have been sick on/off for 3 weeks now. My nose is so clogged up that even extra strength sudafed doesn't work completely. I feel so zoned out. I also wanted to add that even though I haven't been commenting with journals of my friends here I have been reading them and keeping up with your lifes.

On another note.. this season of American Idol is rather dissapointing IMO.

todays happenings

Mon, 07 Mar 2005 21:00:14 GMT

Scene: Me in girls bathroom helping girls change into their ballet gear before nap so there is no mad rush when they get up.
Me: Alright lets put on your tutu
Kid: I can do it by myself
Me: Alright. Do you need help with your shoe?
Kid: No I can do it myself.
Me: Alright out them on and come out when you're done.
exits with other kid
5mins later.. cots are out, kids are quiet and we suddenly hear a voice
Kid: Ms cyph0r (softly)
I turn around but can't figure out where its coming from
Kid: Ms cyph0r (louder and agitated)
Me: entering the bathroom. Yes?
Kid: I can't put my shoes on.
As I proceeded to help, she promptly explained how they are to be put on including tying the bow on the top.

My car should be done by late tomorrow or early Weds. $3k down the drain.

so we know..

Sat, 05 Mar 2005 22:47:25 GMT

Did the parapro exam. It was simple enough. I expected more complex algebra. I may have messed up on the identifying verbs, nouns etc (always sucked on that) but i'm confident enough on everything else. Results are out in a month time. It was weird being in a high school. Even more surreal being in a chemistry lab. Brought back memories of my days of mixing chemicals, eye goggles and what nots. Personally I enjoyed chem lessons but I was much better with physics. Never took biology. wish i did but oh well.

I kinda miss schooling. Even though when I was studying and working it was a bitch. I miss sitting in classes and taking in new information. There is some weird joy derived from learning something new.

So.. we're getting a rebuilt transmission for my car.. which was what they quoted. $3k. We got approvd for $1.5k in credit and figureded we can pull together the other half. I feel really bad about it. Like maybe i was doing something wrong with the car. Hopefully a new transmission with warranty will put an end to any major probs with the car. Problem now is they're going to have to take a few days to work on it and wait for the parts to arrive. Have to figure how to get to work for the next few days. sigh. There goes our tax returns..